Aim: This exercise will help you to write better letters of adjustment. The mistakes in this exercise are mistakes made by students in past assignments.
Instructions: Click on the mistakes in the following letter of adjustment. (N.B. There is one grammatical mistake, one punctuation mistake and nine content mistakes).
also informed us that the colour of the dresses that you did receive was not consistent.
The customer may think that there is not enough explanation of the cause of the invoicing problem and the solution to it. The customer may have more confidence in your future service if you show that you know the cause and can therefore prevent the problem from happening again. (Click here to go back to the letter.)
There is no assurance that this problem will not occur again ('promptly' is not the problem, the number and colours of the dresses is the problem). This is important because the complainer is a customer who may want to do business with you again, and wants to know that you are now more reliable. (Click here to go back to the letter.)
In the organisation of this letter the solutions to the problems raised by the complainer are not together with the causes of the problems. This makes the letter harder to understand. Also, these solutions are not very good, as both the clerk and the factory may make mistakes again. Double-checking order quantities by two people and doing quality control on orders before they are sent out would be better solutions. (Click here to go back to the letter.)
The subject heading is not precise enough. A good subject heading should allow the reader to easily find the background information on this situation. To do this the subject heading can include one of the following:
It should not remind the reader of any negative opinions of your organisation that have been caused by this problem, so do not use:
The salutation (Dear...) should be to a specific person, and/or there should be an attention line (Attn: Ms Wong) to show who is handling this case. This is also more polite and shows that your service is more personalised. The receiver's name should also be above their company address. (Click here to go back to the letter.)
The compensation offered in this letter is probably too much, as it is probably greater than the profit margin on the items. However, to retain an important customer it might be necessary to offer a large discount. Therefore, be sure to check with your manager what level of discount is appropriate both for this customer, and in your industry and for your products or services. (Click here to go back to the letter.)
This is not a mistake. (Click here to go back to the letter.)
Here is a corrected version of the letter of adjustment:
|May's Fashion Wholesale << This address
is now on the left.
200, Java Road
Mr D. Wong << The name of the specific person who
Dear Mr Wong << The name of the specific person who complained.
Re: Order Number 9857/E << A more specific subject heading. It also does not include the word 'Complaint' so that it does not remind the reader of the negative feelings and opinions they might have about the writers organisation that were caused by this problem.
I would like to apologise for the error made by our company in supplying your order number 9857/E dated .
You ordered 100 size-36 dresses (model no. 134) and our dispatch office sent only 10. This was due to an invoicing mistake. We have instituted a double-checking system for order quantities so that this type of mistake will not happen again. << An effective solution immediately after the problem.
You also informed us that the colour of the dresses that you did receive was not consistent. << No unnecessary detail. We have also improved our quality control system to prevent this type of error. << An effective solution immediately after the problem.
We have dispatched 100 new garments by express courier. They should arrive by .
To show our goodwill, we would like to offer you a 5% discount on your next order with us. << A more appropriate discount.
We look forward to receiving your further orders, and assure you that they will be filled correctly. << An assurance that the problems will not re-occur.
Yours sincerely << Matches 'Dear Mr Wong'. Also there is no comma.
hits since 16 April 2003.
If you have any suggestions or questions, please e-mail us at .