Definitions and Functions Correction Exercise

Task One
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Aim:
This exercise is to help you with the functions of definition, comparison and contrast. Click here for a version of this exercise in MS Word.

A definition explains what something is. Extended definitions can also:

distinguish the thing you are defining from other, similar things; and states what is not included in the definition. It does this by comparing and contrasting definitions of different things. For example, if you are defining spoken Chinese language you could state that this means Putonghua, and specifically exclude Cantonese by claiming that it is a dialect.
give examples. You could define a foreign concept, and give examples of how it applies to the Hong Kong situation.
provide extra facts or information to make the definition clearer.

Definitions in academic writing should:

be accurate; e.g. do not write that 'a whale is a type of fish' (whales are mammals that breathe air with their lungs and will drown if they cannot breathe, fish extract oxygen from water with their gills). Also do not write that 'geese are a type of bird that cannot fly', as wild geese can fly. (Pictures)
be detailed enough that they define something accurately; e.g. 'a red-brick university is a term for a university built after the 1960s' is not detailed enough, because it does not show the contrast between a red-brick university and older, more famous universities, which are usually built out of stone.
not be too obvious - they should tell the reader something that they probably do not know; e.g. 'E-banking means banking electronically' is not a good definition.
not exaggerate. Be careful of using terms such as 'all', 'always' and 'never' because it is very difficult to prove that something happens 100% or 0% of the time. Maybe something hasn't happened yet, but that doesn't mean that it won't happen in future.
be grammatically accurate; e.g. sentences starting with 'Although' have at least 2 clauses, which are separated by a comma, for instance; "Although definitions may seem tedious, they are vital in academic writing both to communicate your ideas accurately and to promote an image of yourself as a respectable academic".
be testable. For example, if a 'world-class' city can be defined as 'a city with a stock exchange and more tourists per year than the number of people who live there', this definition can be tested using examples of real world-class cites such as London, New York and Paris, and also with cities that are definitely not world-class, such as City One in Sha Tin, which does not fulfil either criteria, and Venice, which does not have a stock exchange.

Instructions:
Correct the mistakes in the following sentences. The mistakes are in:
- grammar,
- style, and
- meaning.
For grammatical mistakes, correct the sentences in the boxes below.
For mistakes in meaning or style, write a comment in the box.
There are 17 questions. After you finish them, click the 'Check All Answers' button to see the answers and feedback.

1. Although e-commerce is a modern phenomenon. It has become a valuable business tool.

2. I.T. is very common in business. It is very useful.

3. Computer science is the science of doing things with computers.

4. Zoology is the science of managing a zoo.

5. Although HKPU is in a convenient location, however the air pollution here is quite bad.

6. Engineering courses are more popular as IT courses.

7. The most busy students here are the third-year students.

8. There are a number of similarity between computing and business courses.

9. While Taiwan has a strong hardware industry, Hong Kong haven�t.

10. E-mail is the most popular program on the Internet.

11. Plagiarism is defined as copying from text books.

12. Referencing correctly will make your assessment grades more higher.

13. Teachers should know that students can be categorised as either male or female.

14.E-business can be define as the process of doing business electronically.

15. Academic writing is defined as writing is formal, well-organised and well-referenced.

16. HK students' English language ability always correlates with their academic ability.

17. HK students they always have more better English as Mainland.

Answer Key

The following answers start with your answer in the box, then have the corrected sentence, and then an explanation in brackets. Incorrect words are ~~crossed out~~, and corrected words are underlined.

1. Your answer is:
No answer yet.
The correct answer is: 'Although e-commerce is a modern phenomenon, it has become a valuable business tool.' (One sentence only, because sentences starting with 'Although' always have 2 parts, separated by a comma.)

2. Your answer is:
No answer yet.
The correct answer is: 'I.T. is very common in business, and it is very useful.' (The original sentences are too short for academic writing, and there is no linking.)

3. Your answer is:
No answer yet.
The original sentence was: 'Computer science is the science of doing things with computers.' (Too obvious. This definition does not help a reader to understand what computer science is. Computer science is a complicated subject, and you need to write an extended definition to define it adequately; e.g. 'Computer science involves the design, assembly, programming and use of computers.')

4. Your answer is:
No answer yet.
The original sentence was: 'Zoology is the science of managing a zoo.' (Wrong meaning: zoology is the category of biology dealing with animals.)

5. Your answer is:
No answer yet.
The correct answer is: 'Although HKPU is in a convenient location, ~~however~~ the air pollution here is quite bad.' (Don't use 'however' and 'although' in the same sentence. In general, only use one conjunction for contrast such as 'however', 'but' and 'whereas', in one sentence.)

6. Your answer is:
No answer yet.
The correct answer is: 'Engineering courses are more popular as than IT courses.' (After the comparative adjective use 'than'. Only use 'as' if something is 'the same as'.)

7. Your answer is:
No answer yet.
The correct answer is: 'The ~~most busy~~ busiest students here are the third-year students.' (Adjectives of 2 syllables that end in 'y' usually change their ending to 'ier' or 'iest'. Click here for more details about comparatives and superlatives.)

8. Your answer is:
No answer yet.
The correct answer is: 'There are a number of ~~similarity~~ similarities between computing and business courses.' (After 'a number of' use a plural noun.)

9. Your answer is:
No answer yet.
The correct answer is: 'While Taiwan has a strong hardware industry, Hong Kong ~~havent.~~ hasnt.' or '..., Hong Kong doesn't.' (Always be careful of subject-verb agreement. Hong Kong is one thing, so use 'hasn't' or doesn't, not 'haven't'. 'Hasn't' is a more obvious contrast to 'has', and 'doesn't' is also possible because 'doesn't' is the negative auxiliary verb for the third person singular in the present simple tense.)

10. Your answer is:
No answer yet.
The correct answer is: 'E-mail is the most popular type of program on the Internet. (Its a type of program. Eudora and Outlook are e-mail programs. Definitions must be accurate.)

11. Your answer is:
No answer yet.
The correct answer is: 'Plagiarism is defined as copying from text books without referencing and either quoting, summarising or paraphrasing.' (The original sentence is not detailed enough: Copying from text books is acceptable if the copied text is shown as a quote and has some referencing; e.g the author's family name, date of publication and page number. For more information on quoting, click here.)

12. Your answer is:
No answer yet.
The correct answer is: 'Referencing correctly will make your assessment grades ~~more~~ higher.' ('High' is a one-syllable adjective, so change the ending rather than adding 'more'. Click here for more details about comparatives and superlatives.)

13. Your answer is:
No answer yet.
The original sentence was 'Teachers should know that students can be categorised as either male or female.' (Teachers already know this. Also, there are more helpful categorisations, such as categorising students by their learning style.)

14. Your answer is:
No answer yet.
The original sentence was grammatically correct, 'E-business can be defined as the process of doing business electronically.' (However, this definition is not very helpful to a reader who does not know what e-commerce is. A more extended definition would be more helpful; e.g. 'E-business can be defined as the process of enabling business transactions such as ordering over the Internet.')

15. Your answer is:
No answer yet.
The correct answer is: 'Academic writing is defined as writing which is formal' (To give more information about a noun such as 'writing', you can use a relative clause. Relative clauses start with a relative pronoun such as 'which', then a verb; e.g 'is', then the rest of the clause.)

16. Your answer is:
No answer yet.
The correct answer is: 'HK students English language ability ~~always~~ often correlates with their academic ability.' (Don't use 'always' to emphasise the frequency of an action in academic writing. Use a more accurate adverb of frequency, such as 'frequently' or 'often'. 'Correlates' means something is at the same level and increases or decreases at the same time. Therefore if a student is getting high marks in English, they are probably getting high marks in other academic subjects as well.)

17. Your answer is:
No answer yet.
The correct sentence is 'Hong Kong students sometimes have better English than Mainlanders.' (This sentence contains many of the mistakes mentioned above.)

Total Score: