Now only listen, and while you listen, fill in the blanks below with the words Jerry Seinfeld uses. If you have problems, click on the [?] button, or the 'hint' button at the bottom of the page.
Glossary:
  • *pretentious = to claim or demand a position of distinction or merit, especially when it is unjustified
  • *creepy = weird; strange
  • *smother = to deprive a life from receiving oxygen
  • *yogurt = a food prepared from milk which is often eaten with fruit and cereal

'Cause I don't want to go to the restaurants that my friends want me to go and I don't want their phone. Everybody I know wants... 'You should get my phone!' Why don't you get that phone? What kind of phone do you have? You should have THIS phone!' And all my pretentious business friends with their and this... ...I'm so sick of this, ok! I get it! 'Can you do this with your phone?' 'No I can't!' I take my phone, I do that with it, ok? That's what I got.

So my wife is on the now. Oh the Blackberry people. Yes I know you're here. Yes. I'm surprised you're even paying to this. They pay attention to ! They walk around holding the Blackberry, because that is what Blackberry them to do. 'You keep me out! I wanna see what's going on!' And you try and talk, you notice their eyes they're just like, they're like wooden eyes! Or they're just... ...they're always...you're trying to talk to them but they're not really there. Or they do that creepy head down thing on you: 'Ah hah.' What is that?!! Do we even know what is in this anymore?! Could I just pick up a , hold it on front of your and read it while you're talking? Is that what we're doing now?

So anyways, so she gets the Blackberry. She uses it in the car. Brings it in the house. The other night I found it in the . She was gone. Just me and the Blackberry. I tried to smother it with another but it doesn't use . Couple days later she found it in the bottom of a bowl of yogurt. 'Oh, it said Blackberry. I guess I got .'

Now watch the video again as many times as you like.